I had a bad night of sleeplessness and pain. Too much anxiety. Too much worry about things I can’t control. Trying to predict what comes next, because my go-to is vigilance, as if that has ever kept me safe. Spoiler: it just keeps me in a state of sympathetic dominance (RE: stressed out).
Eventually, I stopped my mind and told myself that I’m just gonna do what I can do. Have an effect where and when I am able. Nothing more or less.
I will plant my seeds and grow my garden. I will meditate and do my best to keep my health level. I will REST. I will nurture myself as best I can; in the ways I know how. In the ways I am still learning.
I will stop scrolling for updates. I will stop making space for panicked voices and those who capitalize on our collective fear.
I will keep in touch with loved ones and cultivate togetherness.
I will make art everyday. It doesn’t have to be “good”. It’s all in the doing. I will use my hands and stay connected to my body.
Hold a needle and make a stitch. And another. And another. Draw a line. Make a mark. Touch the soil. Touch the plants. Touch the earth. Face the sun.
I will keep doing my best to offer what I can to the world. I will be mindful of my boundaries and listen for when my body is asking for limits.
I will not sink into despair.
I will place one foot in front of the other, slowly, carefully. Like a prayer.